Mental Musings

Everyone has had to deal with complainers. Some areas of life seem to attract more complainers than others, but I found something that really is genius concerning how to deal with complainers. Make Complaining Feel Like Work 1. Acknowledge their feelings: “It sounds like you’re not happy. Tell me about that” 2. When the point has been made, task them with finding a way to improve the situation. “I think I see why you’re not happy. What do you think can be done?” 3. If they sound defeated or say nothing can be done, shift to the task of finding a way to cope: “So it pretty much sounds like you’re stuck with it the way it is. Besides telling me, how are you going to come to terms with that?” 4. After a while, it will be second nature to guide the complainer along in this way, until he will begin to do it for himself when he is in your presence. Over time, he will hear become tired of hearing the refrain: “So it sounds l...

I entered the workplace 30 years ago this summer. My first job was at a Kmart. Throughout my life I have had several jobs that were the normal Monday through Friday with an occasional weekend meeting or business trip. The nice thing was that I generally only had to think about my job from about 8 am to 5 pm Monday through Friday and then I was done. I rarely ever thought about what was taking place while I was out. I didn't need to find somebody to take my place at my various tasks before I left on vacation. I simply requested time off and when the time came I left without another thought of work until the next Monday when I returned. All of my work was sitting there waiting for me. I was thinking about this today when a church member told me in an email that I was supposed to be on vacation. I realized that I started my vacation on Friday evening by going to visit a church member at the hospital and then burning a DVD on my home computer that evening because I could not get any of...

In the music ministry we always have to balance our abilities and talents with the right attitude for serving God. Sometimes the least talented person would do the best in sharing with others an important message from God. And sometimes the best musicians are not the appropriate people to serve in the music ministry because they would only be doing it for themselves. I have gotten used to working with musicians of various caliber: encouraging some who are talented but shy and deflating the egos of others who may or may not be good musicians. What is often most frustrating to me, however, is the attitude of many in the church concerning the music ministry. My former pastor was the worst about telling me who I should have sing or play and who he thought should not be used. He often threw the “professional” phrase around. “The sound was not very professional today” or “That soloists/instrumentalist is not very professional”. He once told me that a certain lady was so “fat” that it g...

Author J.M. Barrie created the character that never wanted to grow up. Peter Pan, also the title of his famous book, did not want to become an adult and be forced to deal with all of the stress and struggles that came with the transformation. So Peter found his way to Neverland where, along with his lost boys, he could remain a carefree child forever. But those who know the story also know that carefree was not all that it promised for villainous Captain Hook constantly lurked around the corners, and then there was that tantalizing Wendy who stole Peter’s heart before he even knew what hit him. Millions of Americans have seemed to follow in the footsteps of Peter Pan. We have become a nation that no longer values the virtues of adulthood: especially responsibility, strong work ethic, self-dependence, selflessness, and community awareness. You don’t have far to look in our American society before you see lost boys, and girls, running around everywhere. Grown men and women who want ...

I read a great blog post by David Lee King about customer service in the Library system. He started by comparing how small town music stores handle customers compared to the music giant Guitar Center. The question posed was "Why is Guitar Center so large and popular?" You can just look at their business practices to see that they focus on costumers more than on their own property. Read David's post and then come back here for my thoughts below. David's post brought to mind the many rules, regulations, policies, etc. that I have seen throughout my nearly 30 years in the ministry. Building usage rules, equipment usage rules, procedural rules, teaching rules, wedding rules, meal rules, chair placement rules, business meeting rules, parking rules, and the list can go on and on. Often these rules do not make sense to anyone, but 30 years ago the church felt a need to make the rule for some reason. While in Seminary my Practice of Church Music professor made this recommend...

There is a storm on the horizon and many are not even aware of the danger that this storm could pose to one of the best-run organizations in our country. There is a movement among Southern Baptists to de-emphasize the foundational Cooperative Program in favor of the Great Commission Giving model. The danger stems from the lack of information that the average Southern Baptist has about either of these financial designs for tithing. And to be honest, most Christians in general would rather not even think about tithing, much less hear another sermon or lesson about tithing. But tithing is a basic requirement by God to test our faith in His ability to take care of us. Everything we have belongs to God. He could easily give or take away anything at anytime, but as part of our free will God has instructed us to set aside the first 10% of everything we make so that we can offer it up to Him (Leviticus 27:30-32). Malachi 3:10 even teaches us that we are to bring all of our tithe to the storeh...

Next weekend is the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. Each year they have various actors and entertainers who perform for an audience of mostly preteens. Typically the performances and activity of the show are geared for their younger audience. However, they often have entertainers who are known for material that is very inappropriate for children. That is the case with this year's planned performance by Rihanna whose latest album is titled "Rated R" which includes several songs which have been rated explicit due to the lyrics. I really don't understand why Hollywood would promote entertainers like this to preteen children.