How Facebook Has Changed Relationships

Facebook started 10 years ago today on February 4th. While many people have had a love-hate relationship with Facbook, its many changes, its privacy policies, its targeted advertising, etc., I wanted to share with you what Facebook has meant to me and to my family.

As a pastor who has lived away from family and childhood friends for more than 25 years, Facebook has been a lifeline to these individuals. Before Facebook, and the other social media that followed, I had to rely on phone calls, emails, and hopefully a face-to-face visit once a year for 4 or 5 days.

Each time I saw friends and relatives it was as if I stood on the outside looking in. I no longer felt a part of my own family because so much had changed for them since I was last with them. They had experienced joys and sorrows together without me there. They had made memories that I would never get to be a part of. They celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, and even weddings together that I could not attend.

It was extremely difficult to watch my nieces and nephews become adults while never really getting to know them. Multiple that by all of my school and college friends who started careers, got married, had children (and some even grandchildren), all while I was off in some other state or country. The life of a pastor is one of great rewards, but it is also one of many losses. The occasional letter, phone call, and Christmas card does not allow you to continue a relationship that was forged through years of struggles and triumphs.

Then I discovered Facebook. At first it was just a fun way to connect with some of our current church members and get to know them better. Then I discovered the joys of reconnected with old friends from high school, college, and seminary. Facebook also helped us to reconnect with relatives so that we once again felt as though we were part of an extended family.

I often hear complaints from leaders about how Facebook is a waste of time for them. Perhaps they would not feel the same if they knew that many of those they lead see them as distant and disconnected from their organization. Christian businessman and pastors like Rick Warren, Dan Cathy, Ed Stetzer, Thom Rainer, and even Willie Robertson (Duck Dynasty) have used social media to let people see their humanity and their hearts.

A new book that came out just today by Brandon Cox, Rewired, tells churches just how important social media is to reaching the world:

Because the thing is, social media isn't an escape from the real world. It is the real world, whether we are ready for it or not. And this shift we are seeing toward a more mobile, social environment is actually a return to the form we were created for: to be in relationships, to have conversations, and to share our stories—and God's—with each other."

I personally am looking forward to how Facebook and social media can help to connect our world even more in the coming years.