Mental Musings

Everyone has had to deal with complainers. Some areas of life seem to attract more complainers than others, but I found something that really is genius concerning how to deal with complainers. Make Complaining Feel Like Work 1. Acknowledge their feelings: “It sounds like you’re not happy. Tell me about that” 2. When the point has been made, task them with finding a way to improve the situation. “I think I see why you’re not happy. What do you think can be done?” 3. If they sound defeated or say nothing can be done, shift to the task of finding a way to cope: “So it pretty much sounds like you’re stuck with it the way it is. Besides telling me, how are you going to come to terms with that?” 4. After a while, it will be second nature to guide the complainer along in this way, until he will begin to do it for himself when he is in your presence. Over time, he will hear become tired of hearing the refrain: “So it sounds l...

I entered the workplace 30 years ago this summer. My first job was at a Kmart. Throughout my life I have had several jobs that were the normal Monday through Friday with an occasional weekend meeting or business trip. The nice thing was that I generally only had to think about my job from about 8 am to 5 pm Monday through Friday and then I was done. I rarely ever thought about what was taking place while I was out. I didn't need to find somebody to take my place at my various tasks before I left on vacation. I simply requested time off and when the time came I left without another thought of work until the next Monday when I returned. All of my work was sitting there waiting for me. I was thinking about this today when a church member told me in an email that I was supposed to be on vacation. I realized that I started my vacation on Friday evening by going to visit a church member at the hospital and then burning a DVD on my home computer that evening because I could not get any of...

In the music ministry we always have to balance our abilities and talents with the right attitude for serving God. Sometimes the least talented person would do the best in sharing with others an important message from God. And sometimes the best musicians are not the appropriate people to serve in the music ministry because they would only be doing it for themselves. I have gotten used to working with musicians of various caliber: encouraging some who are talented but shy and deflating the egos of others who may or may not be good musicians. What is often most frustrating to me, however, is the attitude of many in the church concerning the music ministry. My former pastor was the worst about telling me who I should have sing or play and who he thought should not be used. He often threw the “professional” phrase around. “The sound was not very professional today” or “That soloists/instrumentalist is not very professional”. He once told me that a certain lady was so “fat” that it g...

Author J.M. Barrie created the character that never wanted to grow up. Peter Pan, also the title of his famous book, did not want to become an adult and be forced to deal with all of the stress and struggles that came with the transformation. So Peter found his way to Neverland where, along with his lost boys, he could remain a carefree child forever. But those who know the story also know that carefree was not all that it promised for villainous Captain Hook constantly lurked around the corners, and then there was that tantalizing Wendy who stole Peter’s heart before he even knew what hit him. Millions of Americans have seemed to follow in the footsteps of Peter Pan. We have become a nation that no longer values the virtues of adulthood: especially responsibility, strong work ethic, self-dependence, selflessness, and community awareness. You don’t have far to look in our American society before you see lost boys, and girls, running around everywhere. Grown men and women who want ...