Lessons I Learned From a Bat





Now that football season is over, let me share with you some things that I learned as a child (mostly the hard way) about aluminum baseball bats.




  • When you cannot find a baseball or softball, never use a basketball as a substitute, especially when swinging an aluminum bat
  • Aluminum bats can rebound with equal force if you hit a hard rubbery and buoyant object (such as a basketball)
  • Helmets are required for batters in all baseball leagues for a very good reason
  • An aluminum bat can discharge a 30mm shell
  • There is no recoil on an improvised bat-gun
  • You cannot aim your shot well, nor will you have any idea the direction the bullet will fire when using an improvised bat-gun
  • A 30mm shell discharged using an improvised bat-gun will create a loud enough sound to attract your parents and the neighbors

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dirty Feet

Image
“How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news.” Isaiah 52:7 (NIV) I have never been very comfortable in shoes. It really doesn’t matter whether they have great arch support, ultra extreme amounts of cushioning, or how much they cost. The first thing I do when I arrive home is take off my shoes and stretch my once imprisoned feet by bending them at the arches and wiggling my toes. I then remove my socks and begin to feel my feet relax as the fresh air washes over my tingling, sometimes sweaty, toes. Pretty picture, I know. It must be the right thing to do. A billion Chinese could not be wrong. My mother could not be wrong. After all, she was the one who always told me to, “Take off your dirty shoes before you come in here. I just finished mopping this floor and I don’t want mud tracked all over my clean house.” It became a normal ritual around our house to put the dozen or so shoes away before company was expected. My mother didn’t want dirty f
Read more

Pampered and Pacified

Author J.M. Barrie created the character that never wanted to grow up. Peter Pan, also the title of his famous book, did not want to become an adult and be forced to deal with all of the stress and struggles that came with the transformation. So Peter found his way to Neverland where, along with his lost boys, he could remain a carefree child forever. But those who know the story also know that carefree was not all that it promised for villainous Captain Hook constantly lurked around the corners, and then there was that tantalizing Wendy who stole Peter’s heart before he even knew what hit him. Millions of Americans have seemed to follow in the footsteps of Peter Pan. We have become a nation that no longer values the virtues of adulthood: especially responsibility, strong work ethic, self-dependence, selflessness, and community awareness. You don’t have far to look in our American society before you see lost boys, and girls, running around everywhere. Grown men and women who want
Read more

Silent Lord's Supper

Image
I planned this service in 1995. ====== Please enter into tonight’s service humbly in silence and meditation. There will be no words spoken, so you need to follow the bulletin closely. We pray that this service will be a meaningful one for you. Come in …be seated …be still for a season …pray …and reflect with us upon the matchless love and grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Not a word will be spoken during this entire service. The only sound will be that of the piano as some familiar hymns of Christmas and Calvary are played. “Be silent, O all flesh, before the Lord.” (Zechariah 2:13 KJV) Prelude “Kings of Orient” Removal of the Cloth “What Child Is This” Scripture Meditation “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12 NIV) “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people li
Read more