All Bark No Bite

My dad has always liked little yappy dogs. They bounce around barking at everything. They seem to have no fear whatsoever. As soon as you move they start yapping at you. Occasionally you will find a yappie dog that actually is more than it seems, but usually they are all bark and no bite. In fact, if you move too quickly around them they will probably bounce backward yapping more out of fear than bravery.

There are people just like these yappy dogs. They like to bark at and about everything. The more they yap, the more they get noticed. They learn from this that yapping gets them their way. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

As long as dogs or people are just yapping, they are generally thought to be of no harm. But just because you don't bite does not mean that you do no harm. Perhaps a yapping dog doesn't hurt you in any noticeable way, but people have a way of inflicting severe pain just through their words.

“An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified city, and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress. From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is satisfied; he is filled with the product of his lips. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” ‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:19-21‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

Life and death are in the power of the yapping that we do. The words we say can elevate people or it can deflate them. Words can draw people closer to you or push them away from you. And once you have spoken those words, it is like opening Pandora's Box-you can never get them back in.

Proverbs 18 describes the impenetrable impact that the spoken word has on us. Once you say something out of anger or fright or self-defense or whatever that is used to cause harm to another person, you in effect build a fortified wall around them. We say that hurt hardens the heart, but it is more often words that harden the heart.

Once the walls have gone up, it becomes a major task to remove them. In fact, we have 3 options. You can tear down the walls. Tearing down walls comes at a cost to both parties. Arrows are flung out blindly, rocks are thrown, and you often have innocent casualties.

You can wait it out. Laying siege and waiting them out often creates an air of unforgiveness that lasts a lifetime. Each party is waiting for the other to do something first. Cities only surrendered while under a siege when they ran out of water or food or because a horrible illness started to spread through the city.

The final option is the one that most people seem to avoid, but it usually is the one that mends the relationships and helps to bring the walls down without the need for death and destruction. You can fly a white flag. Going to another person under an air of surrender allows you the opportunity to seek forgiveness. Your surrender must be one that understands that regardless of the future, the past has consequences. Your words are still blowing around and can continue to cause harm.

When you hurt someone, you are the one that must make the first move toward reconciliation. If you have the attitude that they are the one with the problem so they should make the first move, then you will be personally piling boulder after boulder on top of the walls that you helped create.

Sticks and stones may hurt for a while, but names will bore to the soul. Before you open your mouth, think about whether your words will elevate or deflate.