Suffocating
I wrote this about eight years ago and it describes how I felt when we first learned that our son was autistic. It was going to be the beginning of a book about our journey with special needs children and the ministry, but I guess I forgot about it. I found it tonight while searching for another file so thought I would share it on my blog. I am suffocating. Trapped by circumstances, plunged beneath the swirling waves of life by burdens, desperately struggling for that life giving breath…but it will not come. My chest is weighted down by the crushing blows of reality. “This can’t be happening to me,” I try to say, but my mind is unable to will my mouth in motion. All that I can do is…exist. For just this moment in time I must exist. There is no thought of the next moment or the next. All that I had was gone; all that I had hoped for is now at the bottom of this great swirling tide of my circumstances and burdens. My body is numb. I am actually sitting, I think. I can feel…no, not feel…s...