Comparison of Religious Theologies

This is not from me, but I found it an interesting summary of religions.

Capitalism – He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna – He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Catholicism – He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Anglican – They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox – No, they were OURS first.

Branch Davidians – He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Atheism – There is no toy maker.

Polytheism – There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism – The toys made themselves.

Church of Christ, Scientist – We are the toys.

Communism – Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.

B’Hai – All toys are just fine with us.

Amish – Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism – The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism – Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo – Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Hedonism – To heck with the rule book!? Let’s play!

Hinduism – He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

7th Day Adventist – He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ – He whose toys make music, loses.

Baptist – Once played, always played.

Jehovah’s Witnesses – He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Pentecostalism – He whose toys can talk, wins.

Existentialism – Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism – Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism – We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.

Agnosticism – It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dirty Feet

Image
“How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news.” Isaiah 52:7 (NIV) I have never been very comfortable in shoes. It really doesn’t matter whether they have great arch support, ultra extreme amounts of cushioning, or how much they cost. The first thing I do when I arrive home is take off my shoes and stretch my once imprisoned feet by bending them at the arches and wiggling my toes. I then remove my socks and begin to feel my feet relax as the fresh air washes over my tingling, sometimes sweaty, toes. Pretty picture, I know. It must be the right thing to do. A billion Chinese could not be wrong. My mother could not be wrong. After all, she was the one who always told me to, “Take off your dirty shoes before you come in here. I just finished mopping this floor and I don’t want mud tracked all over my clean house.” It became a normal ritual around our house to put the dozen or so shoes away before company was expected. My mother didn’t want dirty f
Read more

Pampered and Pacified

Author J.M. Barrie created the character that never wanted to grow up. Peter Pan, also the title of his famous book, did not want to become an adult and be forced to deal with all of the stress and struggles that came with the transformation. So Peter found his way to Neverland where, along with his lost boys, he could remain a carefree child forever. But those who know the story also know that carefree was not all that it promised for villainous Captain Hook constantly lurked around the corners, and then there was that tantalizing Wendy who stole Peter’s heart before he even knew what hit him. Millions of Americans have seemed to follow in the footsteps of Peter Pan. We have become a nation that no longer values the virtues of adulthood: especially responsibility, strong work ethic, self-dependence, selflessness, and community awareness. You don’t have far to look in our American society before you see lost boys, and girls, running around everywhere. Grown men and women who want
Read more

Silent Lord's Supper

Image
I planned this service in 1995. ====== Please enter into tonight’s service humbly in silence and meditation. There will be no words spoken, so you need to follow the bulletin closely. We pray that this service will be a meaningful one for you. Come in …be seated …be still for a season …pray …and reflect with us upon the matchless love and grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Not a word will be spoken during this entire service. The only sound will be that of the piano as some familiar hymns of Christmas and Calvary are played. “Be silent, O all flesh, before the Lord.” (Zechariah 2:13 KJV) Prelude “Kings of Orient” Removal of the Cloth “What Child Is This” Scripture Meditation “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12 NIV) “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people li
Read more