God Even Loves Stupid People

It is amazing how much your life changes when that first bundle of joy arrives. You can prepare yourself some by reading books, but they never tell you the whole story. For instance, the books say that you should expect to need anywhere from 3-5 outfits per day for your newborn. What they don’t tell you is that you should expect anywhere from 3-5 outfits per day for the parents as well.

I began to realize that changes where going to take place before Ashton was even born. Wendy was about 2 months along when she informed me one day as we were driving around through the traffic of Amman, Jordan, that I would have to quit yelling the word “stupid” at other drivers after the baby was born. It was at that moment that I first wondered if I was really ready for this baby.

Since then, I have really tried hard to control myself while driving. But I must say that there are some really stupid people in this world and for some reason they always seem to be on the road at the same time that I am. But, in an effort to change my ways, I began to refrain from using the word “stupid.” After Ashton was born, I was reminded about the need to not use this word. And in case you can’t guess why I had to be reminded about it—well let me just say that the only reason you have to remind someone about something is because they didn’t mind the first time.

The next time we were out somewhere I calmed myself and said, “That idiot.” Wendy informed me that I was not allowed to say idiot either. I asked why I and she responded, “Do you want your son to go around church calling people idiots?” Well, to be perfectly honest, my response was, “Well some of them are!” NOTE: I was not on staff anywhere at the time, so I was just speaking about people in general, not anyone specific.

I am sure that many, if not all, of you have at some point in time felt the same way about others around you, whether it is someone at work, at school, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or even a spouse. There are just times that we get frustrated and put out with others. How we deal with our frustration is a great determining factor in how well our relationship with that person will remain.

God commands us to live in harmony with each other, to strive for peace. We know this. We know that we are not to just blast people out of the water every time we get a little put out with them. But most of us have experienced a time when we said something before we even thought. Later we wish we could take it back, but it is too late. While it is not a scientific fact, I am sure that you will agree with me that the tongue works far faster than the brain in most cases.

My father taught me that it is best to always write out what you want to say before you talk to someone who has hurt you. Otherwise you will only lash out at them in return. This has been a great practice for me. I am not a confrontational person anyway and usually think much better when I have time to write out what I want to say. I rarely talk in front of people without word for word notes in front of me. But some people seem to have no problem expressing themselves without any preparation. When forced into a confrontation I usually will state my views, but then just stand there and listen to the railing that is to follow.

I remember a situation at one church when the mother of a youth who had failed to meet the deadline for a camp came to talk to me after church. I had a migraine headache that day and felt like my head was going to explode. The pastor even announced that as a prayer request during the service. But the instant that this member got to me she began to chew me out for not making sure that her son knew about the camp deadline. Wendy and I were still newly weds and she had not yet had time to become hardened to the way some church people act, so she was extremely stressed after this verbal assault.

I assured this lady that we had announced the camp deadline in church, in the bulletins, and newsletters for over a month, passed around a sign-up sheet in each Sunday School class, and sent letters to all the youth. She then began to chew me out for not personally calling all 75 youth to tell them about the deadline. After she finished, I told her that I was sorry her son did not sign-up in time but that the camp had certain rules we had to follow. She told me that she was sure the camp would bend the rules to get her son in. 

Now, I don’t know if you realize it or not, but there are certain things that ministers cannot do if they expect to continue serving God at the same church. One of the “NO NOs” is telling someone like this woman exactly what you really think at the time. And believe me, I would have loved to tell her what I was thinking, but I didn’t. Sadly this person had the support of the senior pastor who told me to try to fix things so that her son could go.

In the end, this church member got her way. Her son did get to go to camp and our entire youth group had to wait in line for several hours to see if we would have rooms—since adding one person changed our status to late registration for this camp. We all discovered during our wait that her son never signed-up for camp in the first place because he did not want to go to camp.

Since I still have to battle against calling people stupid, especially when driving behind them, and since I still struggle with the desire to let people know exactly what I think of them at times, I thought it would be good to share some great scripture references that could help others like me: Ruth 1:16-17; 2 Chronicles 30:12; Psalm 133:1; John 17:23; Romans 12, Romans 15:5; Ephesians 4:3,13; Colossians 3:14.