How to Pray Through Difficult Situations

We have all experienced times when we knew we were in over our head. We knew that nothing we could do or say would fix the situation. We were at the end of our proverbial rope, which was fraying at the top and on fire to boot. It is at that moment that we usually realize that we only have one option: prayer. Now, I realize that sometimes we find ourselves in these situations even when we have been praying earnestly about our problems, but more often than not we wait until nothing else will work before we bring God in on what is happening. Why? Generally it is pride that keeps us from wanting to admit that we have a problem or that we need help in fixing the problem.

"Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire" 1 Thessalonians 5:17-19

In all circumstances we are to pray. Now, it is easy to pray when everything is great. God is blessing and we are just buzzing along. But what about the tough times? What about those embarrassing times?

I think one of the most humiliating experiences I have ever had was being fired from a computer sales job. I was embarrassed to go home and tell my parents that I had been fired. I was angry that the company would fire me just because I did not want to do outside sales. I was mad that God would take away my comfortable paycheck while I was in the middle of a full load of college classes, had an apartment lease and a car payment to make. I had no desire to pray and thank God for what had happened. I was too mad to pray and ask God to change my attitude about my former boss. I was too embarrassed to pray and ask God to use this experience to help me grow.

I can also remember how difficult it was for me to pray when I was in seminary and nearly broke. I didn’t know how I was going to survive the rest of the semester, much less be able to graduate. I was working five different part time jobs, taking a full load of classes, and trying to find enough time to sleep, study and practice. I finally broke down and admitted to God that I could not do it all by myself. I asked my Bible study group to pray with me that God would provide the money I need. After our meeting, one of the girls in our group took me aside and told me that God had just blessed her with an unexpected bonus. She wanted to give me the money she had made. I was too embarrassed and still too proud to accept her money and told her that she didn’t need to do that because I was sure that God would provide. When I shared this with my dad, he told me that not only had I failed to receive the blessing that God had prepared for me, but I also took away that girls blessing that God had for her by refusing to accept her gift.

The song Blessed Be Your Name by Chris Tomlin helps put the Thessalonians' verses into perspective for me. Sometimes we believe that God just does not know what needs to be done. We think to ourselves that He just doesn’t understand what it is like to be in our situation. What does God say about this?

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-- yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrew 4:15-16

One book gives us a very good example of why we should not listen to the world’s opinions, why we should not rely on our own abilities, and why we should only rely on God. Remember Job? God was so pleased by Job’s utter dependence on Him. But Satan told God that Job only depended on God because everything in his life was perfect. Satan said that if God took away all of Job’s comfort, wealth and such that Job would turn his back on God. What happened? Satan took away everything Job had, yet Job continued to worship and honor God. Satan had Job's friends tell him to curse God, but Job would not. Satan had Job’s wife tell him to curse God, yet he would not. Finally Job complained about his situation and God responded angrily. [Job 38-41]

Basically God asked Job, “Who are you to question God?” Sometimes we get to a place in our life that we question God.

When Ashton was diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger Syndrome, we experienced what we can only describe as "mourning." We felt that our “normal” son had died along with all of our dreams and aspirations for him. When we found ourselves discussing other children as "normal" we would get extremely depressed. There were several days where we found it difficult to do anything routine. I could hardly function at work. Wendy could not concentrate at home.

The day we got the diagnosis was one of our lowest points. I tried to call a minister friend who taught our Sunday School class so I could talk with him. After calling Jim’s work, home, and cell phone I gave up and went in to sit down on the sofa--and stayed there for a good hour just staring into space. Finally the phone rang and it was Jim. I didn't do much talking and Jim understood. I basically listened to Jim and mourned what I considered to be a lost child.

We both found ourselves to be more irritable with the boys. We got angry at each other. Wendy would spend hours online searching for information. I would spend hours just staring at the television. We had to snap out of it. Even though we knew we needed to ask people to pray for us, neither of us wanted to share what we were experiencing with our church family. We have had some very bad experiences at churches in the past when we have shared a prayer need with church members. The word would get around to everyone and people would begin looking at us in that “did you hear about them” way and start whispering to each other.

Ashton and Zachary

We were very hesitant to share anything about this with our Sunday School class. Jim never suggested we do or pushed us to, but on the day we finally decided to share the news with the class he began to cry as he announced that I had a prayer request to share. And the class was more than receptive to our news and needs. I wondered later why we waited so long to share the news.

Of course, now we look back and realize how much God has blessed us with our boys. Even with all of their little issues. But prayer is not always something that is easy. And asking for prayer is sometimes even more difficult. But we should never be ashamed or worried to ask our fellow Christians to pray with us about something. We all have our problems, our issues, our goals and plans, our needs, etc. We need to learn to pray for each other and with each other. God can get us through the tough times, but He expects us to show enough faith to actually ask Him to do so. And He expects us to have enough faith to continually lift up our needs as well as our thanks.

Life doesn't always go according to our plans. Someone gets a diagnosis and our world is turned upside down. What does God have to say to us in our greatest time of need?

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3 

The word "keep" means to guard or shield. The word "steadfast" means fixed, unchanging, steady, firmly loyal and unswerving. We must trust God with our heart and tell Him of the struggle we have. God already knows how we struggle in our minds. But it is our job to put it into words and pray about it to Him. God promises to give us peace even though our mind wonders.

If we are going to be steadfast then we have to choose to believe the Bible, God's Word, and know it is the truth. God's mind does not wonder and does not doubt like our minds do. We must pray to Him and ask Him to be the watchman in our minds. God is capable of doing this and He wants to do this. He does not want Satan being the watchman in our minds. Satan tells us that we can handle things ourselves, we should be too embarrassed to ask for help or that nobody else will care or want to help.

While we were struggling with the diagnosis of our boys, I found this on a website. A man shared his thoughts after learning that his child was autistic:

"When I find my mind thinking negative thoughts or dwelling on broken dreams, I make a conscience choice to stop. I quote Bible verses or put on uplifting music. I flood my mind with thoughts of God's power, God's love and hopeful words. I remind myself daily that nothing is too big for God to overcome.  

"I often remember what my parents said to me the night of our son's diagnosis. They said, 'Always remember: The bigger the trial, the bigger God's testimony will be.' I had to come to realize that just because the trial is bigger than me does not mean that the trial is too big for God."