Stressors: A True 404 Error

As the prototypical computer geek, I am dedicating this, my 404th blog post, as the official 404 page for my blog. For those who do not know about the 404 page, it is the default page that websites will display when there is a problem. It is also known as the 404 error page, such as the one to the left from CSS Tricks, which has the page title of "You've ripped a hole in the fabric of the internet." Now on to something less geeky...although probably less exciting as well. I sure do know how to capture the attention of my audience, don't I?

For those who simply skipped past the first paragraph and were therefore not dismayed by the self-dabassing demeanor or undefined tone of the penultimate sentence, or who progressed beyond it because you said to yourself, "He certainly must have something to say or else he wouldn't bother posting on his blog after all," I would like to share some of the stressful situations that I have been experiencing during the past four years or more. One of the methods that I have used to relieve the stress in my life is to discuss with others the stressors that are currently stressing the stressed, which would be me in this instance. Some less loquacious person may simply refer to this post as a rant, but I would find cause to differ on that descriptive comment being thrust upon my latest musing.

Seriously, before you believe that you have wasted the past two minutes of your life, which may or may not be true, let me segue to the actual point of stressors and how we should deal with them in a healthy way. If you are already tired of the whimsical tone portrayed in this post and just want the practical information, and who could blame you for that, just skip on down to the bolded text below.

Some who know me might say that I have lived under stress for most of my life. I worked a full-time job as well as served as a music pastor throughout college in order to pay my way through college and yet I still found time to finish a demanding double major of music theory and music composition in a mere four years. I took one year off before I hurled myself headlong back into academia as a seminary student where I soon found the need to get more than one job if I wished to eat more than once per week. For most of my three years at seminary I actually worked five part-time jobs at the same time: cleaning office buildings, polishing pianos, tutoring conducting students, manning the public exchange system in the men's dorm, and serving as a worship pastor or assistant worship pastor. I also working on the paint crew for a couple semesters, but found that I had to drop a couple other jobs to keep up.

Not one to shy away from stress, I was married before we both obtained our master's and shortly after that we moved overseas to serve as missionaries in the predominantly muslim country of Jordan. Bored out of our skulls with no television, radio, computers, or English books readily available, my wife felt that I needed to learn some patience and began to pray that I would get some. Instead of patience we chose to add to an already stressful situation by bringing another ex-patriot into our home. This one was completely unable to care for itself, requiring hours of personal attention except for those blessed few hours that he slept. Not only was there stress in bringing a baby into the world, but doing so in a foreign country with third world medical conditions and cloth diapers that did not come with the luxury of an automatic washer and dryer was simply mad.

And then there was the birth abroad certificate, which is required if we wanted to bring this bone of our bones and flesh of our flesh back to the United States. Since our son was born in a Jordanian hospital, he was issued a Jordanian birth certificate, completed in Arabic. In order to get a passport for our son, we had to take the birth certificate to an official government translation department and pay them a tax to translate it to English. We then had to take this document to the U.S. Embassy and get an official Birth Abroad Certificate issued, for which Uncle Sam wanted his fair share.

We then had to take the two birth certificates to another Jordanian governmental office in order to get a document that we would need to request a passport. This document had to be translated into English before we could take it to the Embassy to fill out the forms for the passport. All three places again reached into our pockets to remove any excess funds we may have had. Not to mention that none of these government buildings were anywhere near each other, requiring hours of bus and taxi transportation throughout the capital city of Amman, Jordan, which was about 40 minutes from our village. And obviously none of these things could be accomplished on the same day.

Stress seemed to billow into stress just like the clashing of storm fronts in the central plains of America. Our trip back to the U.S. and the twenty-four hour trip from Amman, Jordan, to Mobile, Alabama, was not as relaxing as one might assume. We thought when we arrived back in the U.S. that our stress would drain away, but the Memphis, Tennessee airport was filled with long reentry lanes and paperwork. On the final leg of our trip, we were crammed into a propellor plane and our beautiful Jordanian-American son chose to cry for the entire forty-five minute flight.

The past five paragraphs were simply a jaunt down memory lane and not actually relevant to the current stress situation, but stress brings out my inner crazy person. Besides, I would prefer to jot down my thoughts as opposed to stressing out my vocal chords. Others choose to jog, shop, eat, or one of many other activities in order to help de-stress. I write.

So back to the present, or in the very least the closer to present than the seventeen years ago when our son was born in a foreign country making him ineligible to ever serve as our nations president unless he is able to find a very talented forger in an island nation that just happens to be part of the union as well. During the past four years I have dealt with the pressing problem of compressing lungular muscles due to constrictive passageways through my respiratory system. In other words, I have asthma. Uncontrolled asthma at that. Now for some that could be the cause of their stress, but I am beginning to believe that my asthma is not the stressor but rather the resultant function of stress.

I recently went through another round of allergy testing only to discover, as before, that I am not allergic to any of the testable allergens. It is remotely possible that I am allergic to weather conditions, meaning that my asthma is conditional. When a weather front comes or goes, my breathing constricts or relaxes. Another trigger could be from odiferous objects, such as flowers or cigarettes. Exercise or stress can also be causes of asthma. There is a way to determine if these are at the root of my lung issues, something called a Methacholine Challenge Test. Methalcholene, "a synthetic choline ester that acts as a non-selective muscarinic receptor agonist in the parasympathetic nervous system," or histamine, "is primarily used to diagnose bronchial hyperactivity, which is the hallmark of asthma." (Methacholine) Aren't you glad I shared that tidbit?

As stated, I believe my asthma is stress related. I have good reason to believe that, for, you see, we have been in the midst of some extreme stressors during the past four to six years. Perhaps ranking among the top would be our home in Florida that we were never able to sell. We purchased our home in Maryland based on the assumption that we would easily be able to sell our home in Florida...before the housing market fell like a house of cards. Our inability to sell our Florida home meant that we could not afford our Maryland home. This cause and effect led to some difficult financial decisions. Now we are faced with the necessity of moving to another residence while we have the credit rating of Greece. Actually our credit is closer to that of the United States, which doesn't help our situation much. The good news is that we have no debt now, but most rental agents have the financial compassion of Sgt. Joe Friday's famous "Just the facts, ma'am" tagline.

Actual Practical Information Begins Here

So stress begets stress and the stressed become even more stressed. I do not want to minimize or belittle this fact: there is a point at which some individuals need medical care in order to deal with the many effects of stress, including depression, anxiety, ulcers, bi-polar disorder, and more. The need for medical care does not make a person weak or limited in their faith. If you are one of these individuals, please consult a physician as soon as possible. However, for most of us there are some very good ways to handle your stress without medication. As a Christian, I believe that the first step is always prayer. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts." (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV) God loves to hear from His children and spending a little time talking to your Father about your problems is the right place to start.

The next step would be to figure out what is causing the stress. If you are able to avoid the stressor, then by all means do so. Consider what stressors you can get control of and begin to work on those areas. As you work to de-stress your life, you should mediate on the word of God. "Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28, NLT) Continue to quote your favorite scripture, hymns, or praise songs. Music is a great source of comfort for most people. The great Reformer theologian Martin Luther said, "God speaks also through music."

Don't spend all of your time focused on or trying to discover means of avoiding the stressors. Instead, turn your attention to things that you love to do. I am not suggesting that you participate in any activity that will create more stress. If finances are a stressor, do not go shopping just because you love to shop. Find a hobby and dive in. Hobbies do not have to cost money. Manage your time well so that you will have enough time to enjoy doing the things you love. Often stressed people either sleep too much or too little. Too much sleep leaves them less time to enjoy life and too little leaves them too tired to participate.

While learning to do the things you love, find the time to praise God. It is very difficult to focus on your own problems when you are focused on God. Praise, like prayer, is something that should be consistent and unending. If you find that you do not have enough time for prayer or praise, find some things that you can remove from your schedule. Most people will find that out of the 168 hours a week there are many things that are not absolutely necessary. Learn to say "no" to the things that are not of utmost importance, but never say "no" to the things of God. Keeping busy at the right things is important, but leave some down time for family and friends. Try to avoid spending time alone because that is when most people worry and fret over the stressors in their life.

Another way to help relieve your stress is to stop worrying about yourself and start caring for someone else. Sacrificing time and energy helping others will give you a good feeling. Don't carry your stressor into this area. If finances are your problem, don't spend money on someone else. Find ways to help them without laying out the cold hard cash. There are many individuals that just need someone to spend some time with them and there are many non-profit ministries that just need some people to help out, no cost involved.

As you can see, even a half-crazed (or possibly fully-crazed), stressed to the point of no return, bursting with pint up energy that has nowhere to go kind of person can FINALLY get to the point and provide some helpful information while at the same time utilizing one of the many tools in his tool chest to help relieve some of his own stress. And just for the fun of it, I am going to include another 404 error clipart for you to enjoy. This one comes from LarkNews.