3 Things You Should Do When Feeling Boxed In


Have you ever felt as if life were completely out of control? My family is in the process of unpacking all of our stuff after a move across state and I can tell you that we feel boxed in. As soon as one box is empty we toss it to the side to start on another. Before long we have a pile of empty boxes in the way. Several times I have been trapped by boxes and could not even get out of the room.

So I do not run aimlessly;

I do not box as one beating the air.

1 Corinthians 9:26 (ESV)


There is an old saying that men are fixers. If it is broken, we must find a way to fix it. Some say that we are conquerers. We have this innate desire to conquer, subdue, control, and fix things. If we cannot fix it, we feel weak.

There is an old saying that women like to fix others. They can look at anyone and tell you what is wrong with them and what they should do to become a better person. When that person will not change according to the prescribed plan, women feel frustrated.

These are generalizations of course, and I cannot vouch for women, but I know that as a man I am a fixer. And as a fixer, I struggle with the feeling that I do not need or want help to fix things. I don't need anyone else giving me the solution or telling me what to do. I'm a man. I know how to fix things.

If I continue to allow that feeling to control me, there will be times when my inability to bring order can create an atmosphere of frustration. Like an animal trapped in a corner, this frustration can build  into hostility or resentment toward those I perceive to be the cause of the mess. I have boxed myself in and I am running aimlessly beating at the air.

There are 3 things you can do when you find yourself in a similar situation:

  1. Admit you need help - Most recovery programs include this as step one. If you cannot admit you need help, you will continue to beat the air, wear yourself out, and the frustration level will continue to rise. 
  2. Ask for help - I am not sure why, buy most people seem to have trouble asking for help. I have seen people carry on long conversations in which they tell someone how they are not able to do something, yet never once ask them to help. It is a submissive gesture to ask for help. 
  3. Trust others - Once you ask for help, you have to let go and trust that the help that is given is going to work. When we fail to trust others, we get our big hands in the mix and make a mess of the situation again.


All of this information can be used for general problems, but what about eternal problems? These 3 steps are the same things you need to do in order to accept Christ: admit you are a sinner, ask for forgiveness, and believe in Jesus.

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