Being Offended Doesn’t Make You Right

You tell someone that you don’t really like a song, or any song, by Justin Bieber and they get offended. They think that you are personally attacking them for their taste. Groups attacking individuals because something they said or did offended them. We seem to live in a culture of offended people.

There was a Baptist church that had a tradition of purchasing fried chicken to go with the other foods that people brought for funeral meals. It was easy for them to order large amounts of fried chicken and it is a meat that almost everyone likes. I mean, fried chicken and Baptists go hand in hand after all.

There was never a problem until they hosted a funeral for an African-American woman from their community. Suddenly, some women, from among their mostly white church members, went to the kitchen crew to complain about how insulting it was that they would serve fried chicken at the funeral meal for an African-American woman. While these women were still complaining, one of the deceased woman’s family members came up and said, “Man! Fried chicken and watermelon. I think I must have died and gone to heaven.”

You would think that this would have shut the mouths of these easily offended women. No. Instead they started to complain about this man. They couldn’t believe that he would use the phrase, “died and went to heaven” at a funeral meal. How insensitive could someone be?

As easily offended as we are today, it is nothing new. In fact, Paul wrote instructions to the church in Rome, the church in Galatia, and to the church in Corinth all about the same issue of people being offended. Paul felt compelled to call these churches into accountability for their habit of judging the actions or inactions of other believers.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. (Romans 14:1, The Message)

Paul saw that there were some differences of opinion on some disputable matters: specifically, in the areas of what foods should or should not be eaten and what day or days should be seen as holy days. 

For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
Romans 14:2-4 (The Message)

These disputable matters were mostly a result of the different religious cultures that had united under one religious roof. It seems evident that the ones that were the most offended were the Jewish followers of Jesus. They had a long history of Jewish laws that prohibited certain foods and actions and mandated certain things, such as worshipping on Saturdays. Many of the non-Jewish followers of Jesus had no problem with any foods and were possibly pushing to worship on Sundays since that was the day Jesus was resurrected.

These disputable matters did not have any eternal significance and Paul was basically telling them that being offended doesn’t make you right. Not only was this a problem in Paul’s time, but it is the reason that we have so many different Christian denominations. Christians fighting against Christians over disputable matters that have little if anything to do with God’s Word.

So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. (Romans 14:10, The Message)

Christians, whether Catholic, Greek Orthodox, or Protestant, need to learn how to be unified around the most important purpose of the church: telling others about Jesus. Most other concerns, especially over tradition or preferences, leave you looking pretty silly. We should be united, but instead we get caught up in arguing about the correct method of baptism, the correct way to pray, what should be included in a worship service, etc.

God calls us to be unified. It is because of sin that we get so upset over these insignificant concerns that have no eternal merit.

Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren't interested in changing their opinions to agree with God's. – Ezra Taft Benson

Did you catch that? “They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God.” That is the crux of the problem in many churches. Christians that are arguing over these disputable matters are as guilty as the Pharisees at building a religion around rules and regulations rather than around the redemptive grace of Jesus. What instructions did Paul have for these offended people?

So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault.
Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong. (Romans 14:19, 22, 23, The Message)

Pursue Peace

The first thing mentioned is that we should use our energy in getting along; encouraging others rather than finding fault. The HCSB says, “So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” In order to pursue something, we must have a target or a goal in mind. In this case, our goal is peace or unity with others.

You cannot have unity if you are judgmental about how parents discipline their children. You cannot have peace if you are condemning the clothes that others wear to church. You cannot get along if you are going to put yourself above everyone else.

Peace builders are those that place the needs of others before their own needs. Peace builders work to find common grounds rather than expecting others to climb up to their ivory tower. Peace builders truly love others even when their back is turned or they are not around.

Private Practice

Secondly we are to continue to ensure that we grow spiritually as an individual and make it a private practice. If God calls you to do something specific, such as to stop drinking alcohol, then obey God and stop drinking alcohol. But be careful not to place that requirement on someone else.

That is one of the disputable matters that Paul is discussing here and by mandating that all other Christians must follow what you believe God is telling you to do creates a pharisaical requirement that can be too burdensome for some. Remember, just because you are offended doesn’t make you are right. It is a personal issue that should be handled between you and God.

In fact, verse 22 in the HCSB says, “Do you have a conviction? Keep it to yourself before God” right after the often quoted verse 21 that says, “It is a noble thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother stumble.” It’s funny how the modern day Pharisees seem to forget to include verse 22.

You think drinking is wrong? You think drinking would cause a fellow believer to stumble? You think advocating alcohol as a Christian could cause someone to become an alcoholic? Fine. Don’t drink, but keep your conviction between you and God. Don’t get offended when a fellow believer is seen drinking an adult beverage with his meal.

Provide Power 

Finally, we should provide power, or strength, to others. 

Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?”
So reach out and welcome one another to God’s glory. Jesus did it; now you do it! (Romans 15:1,2,7, The Message)

This does not mean to preach at the less faithful followers of Jesus. We are not to condemn them or judge them or hate on them. We are called to step in and lend a hand. If you see a need, talking or complaining or nagging won’t fix the need. Roll up your sleeves and lend a hand.

There are some Christians that have great faith during difficult times. They can be there for others during difficult times to help them through it. There are some believers that have great strength in avoiding sins. They could help others that struggle in those areas by being an example or lovingly guiding teaching them how to be stronger. There are some followers of Jesus that have a great prayer life. They should pray for others who need to grow in that area.

Don’t get prideful about your strengths. Strength is for service, not status or position. 

Pursue peace with everyone, practice privately your convictions, and provide power to those in need.

Stop being offended by everything and everyone. God has called the whole world: black and white, rich and poor, beggars and thieves, men and women, girls and boys, dirty and clean, liars and cheats, Arabs and Jews, the entire world. God has called all of us to come to His table.

Not everyone at the table will have the same background, the same traditions, or the same customs as you. Who are we to condemn them for what they eat, or what they drink, or how they dress or whatever. God invited them. It is His table. We have no right to criticize them or send them away.

I believe that many churches have dug in their heels, built idols to their traditions, and refuse to accept fellow believers that have different views about how things should be done. They refuse to allow them to sit at the table. They don't like these outsiders trying to change their church. Perhaps that is why we have about 2500 churches close their doors each year. Perhaps that is why most churches have declined in attendance, baptisms, and finances.

God has called us all to the table and He wants us to call everyone we meet to come to the table as well. Stop being offended by everything and start loving others with the love of Jesus.

“So reach out and welcome one another to God’s glory.
Jesus did it; now you do it!”