Comment Card Churches

As I was preparing for worship planning today, I was perusing some tweets and facebook posts of my music ministry friends. The insight, wisdom, and experience shared in these outpourings by my colleagues can often teach me more than I could learn from any other source. And more often than not, their experiences are very similar to my own throughout the past 30 years of ministry.

One tweet in particular caught my attention. Dean Lusk tweeted a link to Rich Kirkpatrick's blog post for today: Death By Comment Card: Decibel levels, worship style, and helpful suggestions. I couldn't help but commiserate with him as I am sure all worship pastors do. I encourage you to read his entire post.

I must admit that in the past I have made it a policy to ignore all unsigned, unclaimed, or otherwise unattributed comments, suggestions, and complaints throughout my ministry. I appreciate the advice of individuals who come to me personally, but I do not need the constant destructive nature of these so-called "good intentions" that people pass our way anonymously. Most of the negative comments are by people who have had no training or experience in the music ministry, yet they think they know better what we should do.

I have often told my choirs and ensembles that we are operating under a dictatorship and I am the dictator. It must be that way with music. Only one person can be in charge and all others must follow that leader or we end up with a cacophony of sounds based on various personal preferences and desires. That does not mean that others cannot offer their input, insight, or interjections of personal interests. Musicians thrive on the group effort, constantly pushing each other to grow and mature in our knowledge and skills as musicians, but somebody has to be in charge...and that person is me.

I also have to answer to my boss, which it might surprise the church to learn is not them. My principle superviser in the church setting is the senior pastor. He is the one who does my annual reviews and recommends performance based incentives and helps to support my ministry goals and needs. He is also the one who determines what the worship ministry can and cannot do. Ultimately my boss is God and I must take all of my direction from Him, even if that is contrary to what the church or my pastor wants. This can and has been tricky in the past. Most pastors I have worked with understand this dynamic and are willing to pray and seek a unified answer from God. It is always a blessing to serve with godly pastors who desire to honor God above their own personal agendas.

In his blog, rather than just complain about the complaints, Rich goes on to offer some wonderful words of wisdom concerning how pastors and staff should manage comments. I think we could all benefit by implementing these in our ministries.

  • Clarify the “win” for a worship service. This means style, and visible goals are agreed upon and communicated. It is so much easier to respond to a volume complaint that is more about style preference if it is clear what the goal is. Are the leaders involved all on the same page with style and goals for the weekend service?
  • Develop a filter for feedback. Not everyone needs to see all the feedback. Critics are helpful, even if they might be misbehaving. However, it would help to have a policy of how to deal with these. Is it the job of the worship leader to be a customer service person? What happens when a church member is not satisfied? Are you OK with people not agreeing with your direction?
  • Take a poll or have a forum if there proves to be a disconnect. If the feedback is strong, frequent, and relentless then you do have to figure out what the disconnect is. Gather intel by taking a poll to find the attitudes and to clarify the discussion. Then, schedule some chats to listen. Leaders have to change direction at at times and sometimes even strategic passions stop working. Are you willing to listen…for real?
  • Moderate expectations to reality. Teach people that being a part of church is not about them liking everything. The comment card can teach that, if you use it incorrectly. Disappointment occurs when an expectation is not met. The longer a person is part of a church, the less excited they will be. Why? Any relationship takes work. Are you willing to re-frame how people think when it comes to their personal preferences in worship?
  • Challenge people to differentiate between conscience and preference. Preferences are like food. It is not wrong when we have many differing opinions about what spices we like. Church people forget this and sometimes make everything an issue of conscience. An issue of conscience is where you have to draw battle lines. Are you willing to burst the bubbles of faulty fights?

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