Ephesians 5 - Our Life of Love

When I have learned to love God more than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.” C.S. Lewis

In a Nutshell

Paul encourages Christians to be imitators of God and to walk in love. Don’t fall into a life of sin, but rather stand against sin and try to expose it. Use your time wisely as you follow God’s will. Let the Holy Spirit direct and influence your behaviors. As you do this, husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and wives should respect and submit to their husbands.

The Power of Example

In his autobiography, Benjamin Franklin tells of the time he wanted to convince the citizens of Philadelphia to light the streets at night as a protection against crime and as a convenience for evening activities. Failing to convince them by his words, he decided to show his neighbors how compelling a single light could be. He bought an attractive lantern, polished the glass, and placed in on a long bracket that extended from the front of his house. Each evening as darkness descended, he lit the wick. His neighbors soon noticed the warm glow in front of his house. Passersby found that the light helped them to avoid tripping over protruding stones in the roadway. Soon others placed lanterns in front of their homes, and eventually the city recognized the need for having well lighted streets.

That is the power of example. Samuel Johnson once wrote, “Example is always more effective than teaching.” Albert Schweitzer said, “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” Children become like parents; churches become like pastors; students become like teachers—all because of the power of example. There may be no greater power on earth to change the behavior of others.

Ephesians 5 begins with an appeal to this great principle: Be imitators of God, therefore, as beloved children; and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us. We are to give ourselves up for God, because he gave Himself up for us. Practically, then, the outworking of that “giving up ourselves” in this context is that we should not fall into a life of sin, but rather live a life of love.

The Imitation of God (vv.1-2)

Verse 1: The word imitate comes from the word mimeomai, from which we get the word mimic. It means “to act like.” We are to act like our Heavenly Father.

Verse 2: We must walk in love if we are going to imitate God. Love denies self; it is willing to give up any self-interest for a greater purpose. Since Jesus gave Himself up for us, we should be willing to give ourselves up for Him.

The Avoidance of Sin (vv. 3-14)

What is the opposite of imitating God?

Verses 3-4: According to Paul it is living in sexual immorality, impurity, and greed. The Greek word for impurity is akatharsia, which refers to dirt and the contents of graves, which in moral language is translated into sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is a sin that has been compared to a living death. The more you participate in it, the more you want it, the less satisfied you become with it, which leads you into a cycle of ever increasing immorality in order to find satisfaction. But you will never be satisfied. That is why the porn industry is so large. People are never satisfied with just one porn magazine.

Paul said that it is not proper to even name these sins among the children of God. These are sins of “deed” or action. He also says that there should not be sinful words. Obscenities, foolish talk, coarse jokes should not be a part of the speech of Christians. We should speak only from a heart of thankfulness to God.

Verses 5-7: We are warned not to engage in these activities and told that people who do are not a part of God’s kingdom. Some have used this to infer that Christians can lose their salvation when they participate in immoral behavior, but that is not the point here. Paul is telling us that we should not do these things because we are no longer those who are disobedient. It is more a matter of identification than salvation.

Verses 8-10: The Ephesian Christians had been trying to continue with deeds of darkness, but Paul instructs them that this is not acceptable. They are to be children of the light and should therefore only do deeds of light. Only as we walk in the light can we please God.

Ephesus was such a dark place spiritually that many of the Christians continued to go towards the darkness instead of the light. What can we do to keep our light shining so that we can attract others to the light?

Verses 11-14: These verses show that we are not only to avoid the sins like those of the disobedient, but that we are also supposed to expose them. Paul could have been referring to exposing sin in the lives of Christians, because the church is responsible to hold its members accountable. Read Matthew 18:15-20 and Galatians 6:1 to learn more about this. However, the context here indicates that Paul is speaking about the non-Christian.

While verbal condemnation is one way to expose sin, it is not the only method. In fact, that method is often the one that turns people away from the truth rather than drawing them toward it. Sin is best exposed by shining light into sin’s darkness. This is one reason that average people hate to be around really “good” people. The light of a really good person exposes the sinfulness of others. That makes people uncomfortable. The more evil our world becomes, the more uncomfortable people become around Christians, the more hated Christians will become to the world. This will lead to the future persecution of the church that has been prophesied.

The quote in verse 14 is most likely from an ancient hymn that was never included in scripture. It is not a direct quote from anywhere else in scripture.

The Filling of the Spirit (vv. 15-21)

Verses 15-17: The world we live in is filled with danger and deceptions that make living an enlightened life difficult. Because we could easily be tripped up or ambushed by events or individuals without ever being aware of the danger, we are instructed to be rooted in wisdom. Use our time wisely and live carefully and cautiously always trying to match our lifestyle with the teachings of Scripture. We must remember that we are daily at a war with our old selves and that only by adhering to the Word of God can we be victorious.

Historical Perspective

Not only was Ephesus the center of the Dionysian religion, but the people in that area also worship Baccus, the god of wine. They believed that by getting drunk they could best determine how they should serve and obey Baccus.

Verse 18: Paul called for Christians to set themselves apart from the worshippers of Baccus. He was making a direct contrast of the differences between God and their god. We do not need to get drunk, which leads to immorality, in order to hear from God. We are to be filled with the Spirit. The Greek word used here was pimplemi which is not the same meaning as the Greek word plarao used in Acts when the disciples were filled with the Spirit. Pimplemi means to be directed or influenced by the Spirit. It is similar to what was instructed in Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly”. Plarao means to be empowered by the Spirit.

Verses 19-33: These verses actually describe how we are to be filled (directed or influenced) by the Spirit. Paul uses four participles to modify the word filled: speak, make music, giving thanks, and submit.

The first two emphasize the importance of music and scripture in being filled with the Spirit. If you continual struggle in the battle against your old nature, then you need to spend more time singing. Seriously. 

How does singing help you fight against sin? Singing is a physical act that causes your body to use more oxygen and it releases neurological endorphins that actually help to stimulate your mind. Both of these things make you feel better and happier and wake up your mind. We tend to sin more when we do not feel well or when our brain is overtired.

And Paul is specifically telling us to sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs because these remind us of God’s Word. Jesus quoted scripture in His battle with Satan in the wilderness. If we are trying to be more like Christ, we need to learn how to do that. Singing is one of the easiest ways to memorize scripture.

When our singing makes us happy, we should have no trouble being thankful. But even in the most desperate times of our lives we need to have a Spirit of thankfulness. Thinking on the things we have to be thankful for actually helps to make us feel better as well.

The final participle is submission. One of the most misunderstood, and often despised, sections of the Bible follow these verses. Yet they would not be misunderstood if they focused on what Paul meant by submission. Paul is not telling us to submit ourselves to others in the same manner in which we submit ourselves to God. But Paul is telling us all that we should have a submissive attitude toward each other: whether it is a relationship of slave and master, boss and employee, husband and wife, or parent and child. We are to be mutually submissive.

The wife is to be subject to the authority of her husband, but the husband is to be subject to the needs of his wife. If a man loves his wife in the way that Christ loves His church, then he would provide for all of his wife’s needs. And wives are to submit to the spiritual authority of their husbands, but not when their husband contradicts or undermines God’s authority. The same goes for the other relationships.

Imitation of God

Two rivers may flow smoothly before they merge; but when they flow together, they often become tumultuous. Each river has its own current that collides with the current of the other river. This creates powerful undercurrents and spectacular rapids. As the river flows downstream, the collision of currents subsides, and the new river emerges—broader, deeper, and more powerful.

So it is with good marriages. The forming of any union may have rough water at first, but as the currents of life merge, the two become broader, deeper, and more powerful. The two truly become one. As the husband and wife imitate God, He blesses their lives with godly unity. As the two become closer to Him, they become closer to one another.

This is part six in a series on Ephesians. Please read the other parts of this series:

1. Ephesians Chapter 1 - Our Spiritual Blessings in Christ
2. Ephesians Chapter 2 - Our Spiritual Union with God
3. Ephesians Chapter 3 - Paul's Prayer for Power
4. Ephesians Chapter 4, part 1 - Our Call to Unity and Holiness
5. Ephesians Chapter 4, part 2 - Our Call to Unity and Holiness
7. Ephesians Chapter 6 - Our Obedience Leads to Victory